in my rented house, i suddenly realized that there was a large shelf in the kitchen that i had never seen before, except somehow i had stocked it with academic books and then forgotten that it existed. in between the books, there was a little square plastic aquarium (4"cube) with some rocks, a few plants, two guppies, and an african frog - the kind that kids get in the mail as transparent tadpoles. oh man, did i feel bad about that, because i'd apparently been ignoring them since september, and the poor frog was stunted and small and very hungry. (though, somehow, the fish were active and happy.) i assumed there must be some pellets around for the frog to eat, but couldn't find them anywhere. luckily, some wet pebbles in a vase in which a narcissus bulb was growing had a few very large earthworms crawling around in them, and i decided to cut one into small pieces to feed the frog. suddenly, there were three undentified people in my kitchen helping me with the task. the prissy blond girl wanted to cut the worm herself, but i didn't think she could handle it, so i told her just to hold him still for me. we stretched him out on a paper towel on a cutting board, and i grabbed the third-sharpest knife in the house that belongs to the landlord (didn't want to cut a worm with my OWN knife, which is sharpest, and the handle of the second-sharpest knife somehow came unglued in my hand, so i had to use the third-sharpest, but worms are soft). so, with help from my three friends, i started slicing tiny parts of the poor earthworm, who laid quite still and seemed to understand his fate. cutting super-tiny slices got a little tedious, so i started to cut bigger slices, and as i did the worm got fatter, and paler, and bigger.....until i was leaning over the shirtless back of a large man cutting some sort of thick plastic wrapping off of him, thinking "the frog isn't going to like eating plastic wrap" and worrying that i had accidentally cut the man's right arm off above the elbow, though it turned out to be an old wound. then, thank goodness, i woke up.
Dear David Lynch,
Please stop writing disturbing blog posts on Lantana's page.
Your fan,
Owl
Posted by: owl | 03/23/2008 at 02:21 PM